When sick I tend to lounge around, watch movies and deliberate life (somewhat irrationally; blame the disorientation). Today, the subject of deliberation was, “who am I, really?”. Who am I? Typical- yes. Something that (I assume) everyone asks themselves- yes.
I don’t know if I really know myself. Everyone advises you to “be yourself”, but what if you don’t exactly know who you are? What are you supposed to do then? Well, figure out who I am and what I like I guess.
I am addicted to the smell of citrus. I love it. The Body Shop sells a Limited Edition Satsuma scent which I adore and honestly I jump for joy every time the re-release it. The body butter I have is probably disgusting, so I ordered this really cute orange scented lotion in an orange shaped container online the other day. I cannot wait until it turns up!!
I love stripes. Stripped clothing and patterned things just draw my attention. If I could wear stripes all day I would, because they are gorgeous. I understand that what you wear and aesthetically pleasing things don’t define who you are but if you wear things you love, you are more confident. I think that being confident is extremely attractive and makes me feel so much better about myself which is ultimately what matters. If I am happy with myself, I am happy.
I love intelligence. Intelligent people just spark this conversation fire within me and I find that’s great. I deem myself adequately intelligent so I do catch myself talking to myself (it’s only deemed crazy IF you answer back). It’s not only book intelligence that I like, if someone has life experience or a well constructed opinion it’s great.
I am awkward to talk to. I cannot string together a verbal sentence or tell a story. Seriously I do not know how to tell a story or convey my ideas in a apt way that not only makes sense, but also sounds appropriate. As I mentioned previously I love talking to intelligent people and if someone can converse with me so that I do not sound at all awkward, that’s fabulous.
I am a hopeless romantic. This is why I get so attached to movies and books and songs. Anything that has the slightest hint and romance and love sucks me in. I love the idea of falling in love. Not that I have ever fallen in love. I want to. Love looks fantastic. I believe that break ups, a part of life, builds your personality and your character, it makes you a better or a worse person. It ultimately makes you, you. I know it sounds cheesy but romantic gestures are my weakness. They are my favourite part of movies and books. Kissing in the rain, bouquets upon bouquets of flowers delivered upon your doorstep. Running out into the snow in your leopard print knickers to stop Mark Darcy from leaving. Being so meant for each other that you and Mr Darcy both walked to the same place at the same time to confess your true feelings for each other, coincidental as texting did not exist, (you can’t half tell that I watched Bridget Jones’ Diary and Pride and Prejudice today?). I love romance.
I have my insecurities. As all females I have my insecurities- based purely around my physical appearance and how loud I can be. I however, am learning to deal with them. It will take a while I know this- I’ve been trying for so long, and it is getting better. I’d love to be able to walk out of the house without being insecure and trying ever so hard to hide my love handles. Sadly they are a part of me, and I am okay with that.
So that’s me the intelligent romantic that is dressed in stripes, smells like oranges and can’t string together a verbal sentence. I am in no way ashamed of the content of my character. I love these things about myself and in no way deny them and until I have my insecurities under control, I won’t let them run my life because I don’t need that sort of negative energy in my life.